The Breakdown Of Depression

 You awake one day with a sense of dread. At first pinning it on the common annoyances of work, unaware of the dissent you will experience over the next few months. The sleepless nights, the lack of joy, the inability to communicate your feelings to the seemingly happy and content figures that surround you; a rift develops between your former and present self. Hobbies no longer satisfy your desire for weekend escapism, your loved ones notice peculiar behaviors but unlike missing an arm the symptoms aren't noticeable enough to warrant a concern. And of course you wouldn't want to bring them down; talking about it only makes it real. Every now and then, you feel elated, overjoyed. Your mania confuses the only ones willing to listen. In moments, you see the totality of anguish, your X-ray vision of despair lasers through the impermanence of it, the instant misery of being. Your only sense of comfort or stability is your acknowledgement that there truly is nothing to be hopeful for. David Foster Wallace likened the situation of those depressed to the scenario of those people jumping out of a burning building -         

                                                                                             

 "Make no mistake about people who leap from burning buildings. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you and me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire's flames; when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of the two terrors. It's not desiring to fall; it's terror of the flames.''

                                                                                                                                                                  Interview of David Foster 

Source video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GopJ1x7vK2Q

WHAT IS DEPRESSION?

There's of course the strict division of depression into it's characterization as a state or mood versus a full-fledged disorder. While the former is but an expected component in the tapestry of human experience, the latter is crippling and formed through genetics and environmental stressors. Major depressive disorder carries with it's symptoms of sadness, tearfulness, hopelessness, anxiety, states of insomnia, thoughts of death and a lack of interest in activities that one had once enjoyed. Additionally, in order to separate it from sadness, symptoms of depression are generally persistent across more than a few months. Depression is complex, although thought to be primarily caused chemical imbalances, scientists have found that the very structure of the brain and neurology especially such signs as a shrinking hippocampus also play a role.

 (More hippocampus related stuffs here ---->

*(https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/reduction-in-hippocampus-in-brain-linked-to-cognitive-decline-risk#:~:text=Researchers%20report%20that%20as%20the,helps%20individuals%20form%20new%20memories)*

Depression has a feeling of unfound in dread and despair. Unlike those who are sad, who can locate their source of sadness, the depressive is unable to identify why they feel depressed. They may latch on to issues such as an apparent lack of meaning in existence or the tragedy of death. This inability to find the source for the sadness does not mean that there is an absence of a certain personal cause but rather may be an uncovered stressor in one's life such a problematic relationship or an unsatisfactory job or even a repressed trauma. It is generally the work of the therapist to offer the patient adequate space to confront these incredibly uncomfortable points of contention. If depression can be treated pharmaceutically and therapeutically, what's the point of philosophizing over it? It should be treated rather than intellectualized and i would by no means encourage one to pass up professional help for an evening with Schopenhauer (a German Philosopher).

Arguably it could be seemingly advantageous as those who believe in Depressive Realism,  the theory that depressed individuals make more realistic inferences than the non-depressed. I also believe that depressives can make more accurate judgements of casual attributions of positive and negative social events. In terms of pursuing truth, depression might be beneficial. But in the domain of living a good or happy life, it does seem to be better assume that ignorance is bliss. These larger truths that can only add to the weight of our despairs are the classic existential dilemmas of life such as one's impending death and the death of loved ones, the anxiety of absolute freedom, the ability to truly understand one another that takes upon the painful experience of isolation and last but certainly not the least, the meaninglessness of it all. Here i take another classic joke from David Foster Wallace- 

 ''There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish, who nods at them and says 'Morning boys, how's the water?' The other two fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes ' What the hell is water?' '' 

Wallace uses this not to assert that he is the wise older but rather to make the case that the obvious, most important realities are often the ones that are the hardest to see or talk about. It is the depressive who carries with this simple and useful awareness. That life is utterly Absurd....

 #NO ITS NOT FROM A BOOK OR ANYWHERE. I KNOW ITS GOOOOOD.....